Unlike some, I don't fear failure. I fear success. And because of this fear I am my own worst enemy. I fear that my success will cause me to forget what is really important in life - that I will end up neglecting my family and my life will be out of balance. I fear the confidence that comes with such success. I fear that my confidence will not just build up to a level that propels me to succeed, but that it will blow up and cause my ego to do the same. That is where I get into trouble. My ego gets greedy and then I begin to seek validation from others to feed my ego. Why must the validation always come from someone who does not truly know you and love you? Because then you have the false security that they are not just trying to make you feel good but are being sincere - I mean why would they lie? Why do we long for the attention of others besides our mate? It goes back to sincerity. You feel like "this person wouldn't lie to me because they have nothing to gain or lose by telling me the truth." - Or do they?
Plus, the fact remains that this person only sees the external part of you or the superficial (which can appear perfect). Therefore, it makes you feel perfect. Whereas, your mate knows better, they know all your idiosyncrasies and although to them essentially, you will never be "perfect", you will forever be perfect for them.
Since Adam and Eve, man has been seeking to feel perfect in the eyes of others. To many, Perfect=Happy. Hence, industries that cater to the pursuit of perfection are the most lucrative. But just like Botox and silicone implants, it's just an illusion.
Prayer:
Lord, I will never be perfect. You alone are perfect. Please help me to not only understand and accept this fact, but give me a revelation of it so that I may once and for all accept my imperfection and flaws. Help me to see the deception in seeking attention and validation from others; in particularly from those of the opposite sex, and to only long for the attention and validation of my husband whom I am in covenant relationship with. Help me Lord to accept as fact and appreciate complements from my husband and to see them as truth and not empty rhetoric. Lord I ask you to create in me a clean heart, one that seeks to ultimately please YOU. Take away the shame from my past and renew a right spirit within me. Replace my fear with faith, that I may devote my life to doing your will and as such, gain everlasting life. With each step I take, please give me the assurance that I am pleasing to you. This will help to build my confidence the right way, and in turn, help me to look forward to finding success in every walk of life. I WILL be able to make confident decisions and stick with them to completion. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
For further thought:
How does one maintain humility without limiting success? Or better yet, how can we achieve success and remain humble?
